Am I obsessed?

Today I was helping my mom with a bake sale for my sister. As usual John and I got into a fight as I was trying to leave. Michael is a wonderful baby, but I do need a break once in a while. For some reason I complain that I haven't had a day without him in so long and then when he leaves I miss him almost immediately. I was leaving him with his dad today, which makes me more nervous than when he goes to one of his aunt's.

John doesn't so things like I do and he doesn't know exactly what Michael needs like I do, but they will survive and I know it will be fine. I worry about him so much though. I never sleep through the night, even if Michael does, because I have to wake up and check on him several times. I am always worried if he's cold, or hot, or hungry, or tired, or uncomfortable, or.... All I do is worry. People say it is because he is my first(and only)but I think I would be like this if he was my fifth. He is the most precious thing to me and that can cause problems. I will be honest and tell you that I care about him a hundred times more than I care about John or anyone else. I think this is probably a normal motherly feeling, but it can be exhausting. I want to have more of "me" but everything in my life centers around him and its my fault things are that way.

He is only little once and since we are not having anymore children I want to take full advantage of this time. I just wish I could figure out how to balance it all. I have never let Michael cry, I hold him all the time, I stop what I'm doing immediately if he needs something,. Everyone says I'm spoiling him but aren't I just showing him that he can count on me? No one ever tells you about these things when you are pregnant. And it seems like no one remembers what it was like to have a little one. They all say "You can't let him do __." But they don't tell me how to get him to sleep, eat, etc.

As Olivia the piglet's mother says "You wear me out, but I love you anyway."